STABLE RELATIONSHIPS ARE FOR HORSES.
JUST SAY NO TO NEGATIVITY
SQUIRRLES, NATURE'S SPEED BUMPS
EXCESS IS NEVER TOO MUCH IN MODERATION
TO ERR IS HUMAN, TO MOO ES BOVINE
SO MANY STUPID PEOPLE, AND SO FEW ASTEROIDS
NEVER BELIEVE GENERALIZATIONS
JESUS US COMING. LOOK BUSY!
JESUS LOVES YOU. BUT I'M HIS FAVORITE!
WHENEVER I FEEL BLUE, I START BREATHING AGAIN
EVERYTIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH, AN IDIOT STARTS TALKING
PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON THAT PEOPLE LIKE ME NEED MEDICATION
SAVE THE TREES, WIPE YOUR BUTT WTH AN OWL
THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS HURT YOU, BUT IT'S STILL ON THE LIST
PROCASTINATE NOW
REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
SARCASM IS ONE MORE SERVICE I OFFER
GOD MADE US BROTHERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS
MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS
BEER: IS NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE
CONSTIPATION CAUSES PEOPLE NOT TO GIVE A CRAP
THERE ARE 10 TIPES OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. THOSE WHO UNDERSTAND BINARY, AND THOSE WHO DON'T
WOMEN WHO SEEK TO BE EQUAL WITH MEN LACK AMBITION